Single and Not Looking
Yesterday, I gave you a taste of the partying and fun of second semester senior-dom. And going with that, Feb Club day 2 was great. There were 6 dollar pitchers (Fosters is AUSTRALIAN for beer!) and I had fun hanging out with the guys and trying to do my grocery shopping tipsy. It's really nice that student board gives us events like this because frankly, we need it. Being a senior is a scary thing. On one hand I'm excited about the future ahead, full of potential. On the other hand, I'm really nervous about the idea of starting over again. At Penn, I have built up a great network of friends and peers to rely on. It wasn't an easy thing, and there were days in the beginning that really just sucked – Days when the thought of transferring was comforting to me. From talking to friends who graduated in the last couple of years I know that I'm probably going to have go through those feelings again. It'll definitely be a transition. That doesn't making the fact that I have less than 3 months left here any easier.
I have an envelope to my left that basically tells me I'm going to get to do what I've wanted for two years: my first acceptance into graduate school. I've gotten an invitation to get a Ph.D. in bioengineering at a great school and I won't have to pay for it. So I should be comforted by the fact that for better or worse, I know that I'll have something to do next year. However, ever since I've gotten this envelope I've been doubting everything. I feel like I'm like this with everything, especially guys. Once he's mine I don't really want him as much anymore. I'm hoping somewhere out there, there's a guy immune to this odd complex of mine.
And speaking of guys, that's another thing that's sad about being a senior. I'm finally at the point where I'd like to date again, but I'm stuck at a place where people don't do that and even if they did, there's no point because I'll be leaving soon. So, it's a kind of ho hum point in my life. I know I should just relish this time I get to spend with friends before I leave. It's just hard, when that's the kind of stuff everyone else is thinking about and some of my best friends are already gone.
And that, my friends, is why seniors get a month of drinking events.