Saturday March 14 – My birthday and the last full day at Tranquility bay. The highlights of today include P's mom singing to me, a Sport's Illustrated swim suit style photo shoot, kyaking, and a boat ride to San Pedro to celebrate my birthday in town. We had spicy Jamaican food and I got to dance with the lead singer of a reggae band while he sung sweet nothings in my ear – pretty much every girl's dream right there. I capped off the night with a beer with the bar tender alone in the Tackle Box, while he told me tales of his past in the US. A little part of my wished I could pull a 'him' and move away to the canary islands, and work in a hotel in paradise. But alas, it was time for the real world.
*Remember, this was all originally written on March 14*
Camp friend phenomenon – it's the last day of the program and there are clumps of girls sobbing due to the loss of the friends thy made that week. Maybe when I was younger I just had a heart of stone, but I never joined their cries (I'd never cried in a movie either, but that's a different story – at least not til Anne of Green Gables the Sequel broke me). I mean, it was only a week! Out of courtesy I added my e-mail and IM to the compilation sheet that was passed around on the last day. But, I always knew it was in vain. Once you go back to "real life" all those memories fade pretty quickly (unless you had the extreme misfortune of living in a tree somewhere or something – but I assume most people are returning to a life pretty different than the one at camp).
So here it is, the morn of my 22nd birthday, and I'm getting my first sour taste (or bitter, but that's probably just the coffee) of camp friend phenomenon. It wasn't camp, so much as an isolated island resort on Amberguis Caye, Belize, but the principal components and symptoms hold true – only I seem to have lost my immunity. Come tomorrow, I'll be in my cramped, loud (FILTHY) abode in Philly, full of real life committments (remember homework?) and the fading process will probably initiate into hyper drive.
Maybe that's the sad piece to this puzzle – the reason I woke up restless at 6 aM? I like to search for meaning in my life. I look at the past and try to figure out the roles decisions made in my life – especially the ones with sucky immediate effects. For this I come up empty.