Last week my retail job promoted me from the catacombs of the front checkout registers to the high and mighty customer service desk. It was a promotion that came with no benefits really (Re: no pay increase), but my day to day tasks were a little more varied. I answer phones (with a slogan that really gives my tongue a workout), get change orders, sign out keys and palm pilots, pay people’s credit statements, and or course, handle merchandise returns.
Kohl’s has an insanely generous returns policy compared to any store I know of. We are one of the few stores that still do returns without receipts and I am basically instructed to return ANYTHING, regardless if the item is used (or in some cases, soiled). It disgusts me how many people really take you up on that. This one woman gave me a shirt that looked like she put deodorant on and then rubbed every inch of the garment over her pits. She gave the black top (which now looked like a cracked out zebra) to me, tags removed, without receipt, and told me it was too small. I performed the transaction with the best fake smile I could muster all while dreaming of the time I could rub enough purell over my body to get me through to my next (scalding) shower.
Then there was the guy yesterday who came in the store 4 times in two hours returning underwear he tried on (ew) and telling me about how it wasn’t fitting him right. I really don’t want to know how various brands of tighty whiteys fit ‘your boys,’ sir. Then there was the woman who returned a comforter she’d been sleeping on for three months because it started to ‘compress.’ Put it in the drier, dumbass. I also particularly loathe the smoker returns – garmants that smell like they have been trapped in an ash tray for a couple millenia. And let us not forget the woman who bitched for a full refund for the pants she bought in 2005 and didn’t even bring a receipt for.
The crap I deal with makes me loath humanity even more. Instead of soiling 20 packs of underpants, why not buy one pair and give it a…um….test drive? Does yelling at little ol’ me for a dollar spent in 2005 make you feel good about yourself? There is definitely a difference between being frugal and being cheap. I’m just glad I acquaint myself with people who have a little more self respect.