Category Archives: Dating and Relationships

My Christmas Miracle – Snowy Misadventures Part 2

Saturday I experienced a true Christmas miracle at the Subway on ‘the Corner.’  One of my roomies and I were having a severe case of the stomach growlies on Saturday. Whenever there are rumors of a big storm abrewin’, most older people dash to the supermarkets and stock up on bread, milk, and canned goods. Me, not so much. I laughed in the face of this storm. I figured people were just getting their panties in a twist because it was the first snow of the year and that we’d really end up with an inch or two. Yeah, not so much. 2 feet of snow and no ploughs in site made me and roomie’s dreams of meat bliss in our stomach out of reach. But, with some encouragement from him, I snow suited up in my holey purple rain boots and went out in the storm.

We waded through thigh-high snow across the main lawn and deserted unplowed streets in search for an open store. It looked like the end of the world out there: small clumps of people searching for food and shelter littered the streets and abandoned cars covered the sides of the streets. But, bless the stars, nestled in a small side street was an open subway, manned by a single undergraduate student. Tears well in my eyes when I think of what he sacrificed to get me that meal. I hadn’t eaten in so long, and that sandwich with its array of meat and cheeses meant so much. I will be indebted to him for life. That foot long meat missile fueled my body through the snowed in weekend.

My misadventure of Sunday involved my futile efforts trying to unbury my car with a broken broom. My main goal of the day was to make it look like there was a car there.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B: See my car burried in the far left?

Exhibit C: You can see how much it snowed!

I learned that shoveling snow is a great way to meet people.  I talked to 2 cute guys and ended up spending the day drinking Beck’s, eating juicy steak (fully satiating my meat cravings), with a guy who lives near where I park my car. After a little eyelash batting he even shoveled it mostly out for me. Of course, since the roads are still crappy I couldn’t get it out to drive home yesterday like I wanted, but, it’s better. Even though he’s an undergrad and we don’t have much in common (besides a love of bread and beer and all things yeasty), we both helped cure each other of some cabin fever.

I’m back in Charleston now. My father picked me up and we left my poor little Volkswagon behind. Hopefully there are no more big snows like that this year. Snow trumps us all.

Hot Date…Sort of….

“I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” – Carrie Bradshaw

deadToday for lunch I did something I haven’t done in a while – took myself on a date. I was really feeling sluggish this morning. I feel like between all the different meds I’m on, I’m always either up or down. So this afternoon I decided to perk myself up the ‘natural’ way, and took myself to Starbucks to get one of those sugary delicious drinks I rarely feel like spending four dollars to get. I plopped myself down by a picture window, sipped my vanilla soy latte, and read a delicious short story by Charlaine Harris about my favorite fictional vampire hottie – Eric Northman. It was pure bliss.

Another good self date idea is to go see a Sunday matinée. A lot of people have told me they are afraid to go to movies by themselves, but I find it surprisingly peaceful. Sometimes it is nice to not have to worry about organizing a group of people. You can just make a decision to treat yourself to something on your own terms. You don’t have to worry if everyone is having a good time. And you don’t have to be embarrassed about what movie you secretly desire to see. It’s a very relaxing experience.

Anyway! I just wanted to remind you all on the Tuesday evening that you are worth a little pampering!

A Tailspin

lil_bLast I left you, I was getting over a cold and a week and a half later I am still getting over it. I basically have this smoker’s cough that won’t go away. It’s especially bad when I exert myself or am outside in the cold air. And by exert myself, I mean walk on flat land to my place of work. I’ve been to the doctor twice for this. The first time I got some antibiotics and now I have an inhaler and some narcotics for bedtime. Between this funky funk and a concussion I’ve been to the doctor 4 times in 4 weeks and met my insurance deductible for prescriptions for the year in 2. It’s pretty ridic, but at least the inhaler seems to be helping. I can breathe deep again, which is always a good thing. I just hope this shit is temporary and I don’t get the pleasure of developing asthma. I have the symptoms, they just better be sickness aftermath.

On the other side of the coin, I bought an ipod. I was definitely late on the ipod bandwagon, but I’m in love. It’s great. The sound quality is so much better than the last time I had one. And I definitely felt BOSS pulling up to Best Buy 10 minutes before closing time and laying down some serious plastic. The irony was that usually Best Buy is littered with annoying geek squad minions asking you if you need assistance every half minute. But, when I actually wanted to buy some electronicy goodness, I had a hell of a time getting someone to open the case for me. In any event, an ipod will definitely spice up my work life ; ). I had planned on getting the purple nano, but after seeing the green one in person I was profoundly attracted to it and had to get it.

And in other news, I realize it’s been a year since Brian and I broke up. And it still annoys me. I never got why he had such an effect on me. I guess I liked him more than I thought. Even though I realize we aren’t good for each other I can’t seem to purge the ill will out of my mind. I guess there’s also the “It’s been a year since I’ve dated someone” blues. Hopefully good things are in store for me soon. I’m ready for my luck to change. Fortunately, this video has been cheering me up. It’s cheesy in all the right ways:

The Nose Nose True Love

chimp-smell-rosesAs I hinted in ‘this post‘ about the clothes people return, every one has a unique, innate smell. Until I was confronted with so many smells at one time, I hadn’t really thought about it. Just having stuff be around you and your belongings for a few weeks and returning it leaves a sort of odor blueprint on you. When I opened a bag full of the returned items at Kohl’s,  a concentrated dose of that smell jizzed in my face, and it grossed me out a few times. One guy’s clothes smelled like a mixture of week old Chinese food, cigars, and body odor – a combination so horrid that I vommed in my mouth. As soon as the man left I immediately threw the bag and its contents in the dumpster (breaking lots of loss prevention store policies…oopsie) and proceeded to huff vanilla flavored body lotion until breathing became an issue. Of course, that was an extreme example.

A lot of people don’t smell bad, they just don’t smell good. Ever walk into somebody’s house and just feel ‘off’ about a smell? It’s not like they are reaking of sweat or poor hygiene, but there is something immediately unpleasant about it and you know you can not be totally comfortable there. Then I started thinking about friends, family, and former paramores (haha, I like that word). Almost all my friends smell appealing to me in the sense that I don’t notice it…but there are some new people I meet and I am slightly repelled by them for some reason, and I think often some innate smell is a factor here. I definitely see a correlation with smell in who I am attracted and not attracted to.

Now that I think about it, I think this smell thing is fascinating. It makes total sense in a animalistic evolutionary sort of way. It also makes me think hard about the things I think I’m in control of (attraction to a person, whether sexually or platonically) and how there is some deeper natural body chemistry that plays an important role. Love at first sight could really be love at first smell. It’s not as glamorous to think about, but it’s there, I’m sure of it.

My Missed Connection at BobE’s

6a00e552792fa288330111686001e8970c-800wi I think this post is the perfect transition from yesterday's when I confessed my hopeless romantic tendencies. And since Craigslist is kind of sketch and I'm not looking for e-mails soliciting adult activity partners, I will use this outlet to tell you about my 'missed connection' at Bob Evans restaurant. 

My parents have been arguing about cooking a lot lately (my father's stomach has been upset from stuff mom cooks and arguments ensue!), so to avoid more catastrophe, the family took Bob Evans by storm. Last time we ate there, our waitress was an overweight girl who was crying the whole time while her supervisor yelled at her. So, I wasn't expecting much in terms of the wait staff. But this waitor was super cute and super perky to be working at Bob Evans. He really seemed to enjoy life, and that gravitated me toward him, especially since I was sitting in silence with my parents. 

I did all you can really do in these situations – I smiled, made lots of eye contact – the usual. And I thought it may be working when he came over to the table to tell us a 'racy' joke. Really it was the lamest joke I ever heard, but I gave it a smile and nod. I tried to tease a little, but the parents really killed my mojo. 

As I was sipping my water while my dad payed up front, I'd kind of given up trying. But LO! As I was getting up to leave he gave me a box with 2 slices of blueberry bread in it. Had he noticed that I'd eaten that instead of the banana bread earlier? When I got in the car I assumed there'd be a number or SOMETHING in the box. That's how these things happen right?

But alas, the box just had the bread. Nothing more. I actually just savored one of the slices before writing this entry. And as I was microwaving I searched every inch of the box again for some clue to this waitor's identity. I'm kicking myself for not at least leaving my own number. I'm not good at sealing the deal in these chance encounter situations….I'll just have to blame my parents for this 'Fail.' 

Now I can only hope that fate will intervene, and the next time we dine at BobE's, he will be there, and I won't blow it. At the very least, I want more blueberry bread. 

Star TrEX!

The other night I was trying to help my friend start getting over her ex. She'd just had an encounter with him and was musing about his perfections and I was, as usual, trying to make her realize he wasn't THAT great. I told her that the only way to start getting over someone is to start thinking about the things that weren't so perfect. For example, when I think of my most recent ex, IB, I think about how he was too introverted for me. It doesn't mean you have to hate them. You should just think about qualities they don't have that you would want for someone in the long term. Moreover, I preached she definitely shouldn't be going over to see him. It wasn't until I stopped contact that I really started getting the closure I needed in order to be able to be happy on my own. 

Flash forward to the next day – I'm getting dressed, putting my hair in a messy pony tail, getting ready to see a solo Sunday matinee flick – when my phone rings and it is none other than the previously mentioned ex. Someone I had never expected to hear from again and had wiped from my social media accounts as a result. In some crazy random happenstance, he was at the theater I was about to go to to see the same movie as me. Great. 

I feel like we both resorted to our traditional roles. Me – gung ho about the plan and trying to make it happen by calling him in the theater to figure out where he was. Him – unaware, and coming across as not caring. So, I was stressed out for this silly movie that I'd been looking forward to going to on my own so there would be no stress. To stop the mental madness, I texted that we'd meet up after. Meanwhile, we were in the same theater, could easily have met up for a good 15 minutes, but instead just resorted to nothing. It's frustrating thinking how difficult such a simple situation can be – no one will take those two fucking steps needed to make it happen.

After the movie, I didn't want another recreation of the former, so I just went home when I didn't see him obviously waiting for me anywhere. I live like 3 houses away from the movie place, so if he called and seemed like he wanted to see me, FINE. 10 minutes later he did. And we had a fine 30 minute catch up conversation whilst awkwardly meandering around my neighborhood. It was plain vanilla, fine, unsalted popcorn, nothingness, catching up stuff….

And I just don't see the point. It doesn't mean anything. We're not going to be friends. In all likelihood, I'll never see this guy again. What's the point of staying in touch with people like that? Is there something I'm missing? Is there any more to it than figuring out who's life is more together at the moment? Figuring out who the winner is? 

The one possible pro, I guess, is that this is the first time I've seen him and had no hidden agenda or residual emotions. He was just some guy that I remember random facts about. This encounter was just some added proof that I was right and that there is no place for him in my life anymore. The most we could ever have was a one-sided friendship. I needed that fact for when I told my friend about the encounter. She started yelling at me – calling me a hypocrite for giving her my rules for the night before. But my lack of feelings (that I worked fucking hard to get rid of) was why it was OK for me only this time, and still not OK for her. 

The thing about rules is, sometimes you gotta break them. You have to take the training wheels off, even if it's probably too soon, in order to see what's going to happen. Will I scrape my knees and spill brain chunks on the pavement or do I finally have the skill set in place to zoom down the hill unscathed? Once you've cared about someone, it's impossible to be logical about them anymore. And just this one time, it didn't burn me. 

OKCupid, A Free Self Esteem Boost

Okcupid
I remember the day I joined OKcupid.com, a free online dating service. My friend wanted to find a guy to hook up with in the area for kicks and giggles and I kind of made a profile to pseudo stalk her search. I'm one of those people who crack themselves up, so I had some fun making up a profile. And hey! It gave me an outlet for procrastinating studying for a good 30 minutes. I still have the profile even though I have no intention of contacting anyone on that site. (To be totally honest, I have replied to 2-3 people, but only the ones that expressed some interest in Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

So, like all dating sites, you have a profile, people view it, and they can message you through the site. Even though most people on the site definitely do not seem like my idea of a good significant other, they have provided me with much amusement through their written adoration, complete with misspellings and word misuse. Today I was told that I seem: "really cool and hella cute," "fun to talk to," "intelligent," "refreshing," like I could "probbly be a model," and  "pretty interesting." Pretty good for never having to leave the house.   

So if you feel like some entertainment and an opportunity to get some messages from crazy people you never hope to encounter in real life, I recommend making a profile. I mean, it's possible you could find some great guy (or girl!), but even if you don't, a little flattery delivered periodically in your inbox is always a good thing.