UGH! I am frustrated. Being a single female trying to make it on her own is seriously annoying sometimes. It makes me wish I was one of those people that got married off at a young age. I have so many things that I would much rather a man do for me, and today that thing was putting air in my tires.
Since it got really cold this week, I figured it was about time to check the tires since I haven’t thought anything about them since…ever? That’s what dads are for right? Low and behold I check them and they are at around 10 psi when they should be 30-37. FUCK ME. I thought the gauge was broken. I’m surprised my tires weren’t totally flat. So, out of desperation I decided to drive to the auto place to pay some professionals to take care of me. But no. Apparently every bitch and two of their moms were out on the roads doing god knows what (but most likely something involving christmas). With the stand still traffic there was no way I was going to make it there before the car place closed.
So I took a spontaneous left turn, went on some back roads until I saw the neon green mecca that is a BP station. I basically parked my car obnoxiously in front of the air machine and made googly eyes at everyone around the gas station. Eventually an older man (and his hot son……disclaimers….) stopped by me and within 5 minutes all my tires were alive again. I think my car seriously grew a foot taller.
But can I say meh? Although my feminine wiles (LOL) and damsel in distress vibes are apparently a functional way to solve problems, it’s seriously frustrating at the same time. I just hate having to rely on other people. And…I think I hate cars. I felt like an idiot pouting at this old man saying I’d never filled a tire before, please help me, blink blink. And, to be honest, I did shed a couple tears in front of him. No one can resist a sad girl with cute boots who doesn’t understand heavy machinery? But, I felt like a major spaz (MAJOR SPAZ ::salute::). I’m trying to just think of the end result, which is: My tires are safe and appropriately filled and you didn’t pay anyone.
But Damn. I can’t wait til I have man to do shit like this for me and all I’ll have to do is make brownies and put out. I can handle that.
Score: PV=nRT =1, Karen = 0, Feminism = -4
My Thanksgiving was a dinner with me and my parents – tricycle style. It’s kind of poopy in the sense that I feel like the point of Thanksgiving is reuniting with a large hodgepodge of relatives over elaborate spreads of food stuff. Ours was a simple dinner, turkey and a couple sides. Good stuff, but the excitement was lacking.
I find myself wondering how many turkeys die for Thanksgiving meals. I actually think turkeys are really cool animals. I can’t wait to quit eating much meat again once I leave home. I don’t know what’s changed recently, but I think about animals a lot more than I used to. And science isn’t a good profession for that….
I find that I don’t understand normal families. I don’t understand a family that spends time together outside of the day to day run-ins associated with living in the same household. When people cancel on me for family stuff, I try to understand, but I don’t actually understand. I spend most of my days here trying to find something to do that will bring me away from it. Maybe one day I’ll get it.
Reading is cool. Right now I am embarking on a book journey that I think will really make me think about my love life. The main character and I are both just hopeless. The first chapter or so mentioned that in this world there are two kinds of people – the dumper and the dumpee. Both me and the main character are dumpee, hopeless optimist, heart on our sleeve types. I can’t wait to see how he turns out and hopefully figure out some stuff in the process. The previous book I read by this author (john green, Looking for Alaska), really made me think about searching for meaning in death and moving on. This author writes really funny stuff that also takes the reader on a path to discover something about the world and themselves. It’s great stuff. I’m sure I’ll post more once I’ve read more than 20 pages. I’m just excited!
Friends are cool too. I love that I have friends I’ve known since elementary school. My homie A and I just celebrated our 11th friendship anniversary (yes, we are cool and keep track of such things)! That’s half of our lives. I love having people who have known me so long, seen me develop into the Karen I am today, and who I still rely on for guidance and fun (and lots of it!). I’m glad Christmas break is soon, because this was not enough time with them.
I’m coming at you after seeing New Moon 2 times in 2 different exciting situations. Friday night my roommate and I drove an hour away to go see it because it was sold out here. And yesterday I had a little girls night pregame and New Moon. I feel like this is a movie that the world definitely wants to here my thoughts about, so here goes:
**POSSIBLE MOVIE SPOILER ALERT**
My overall reaction is that this movie just made Edward seem like a total douche. He didn’t get enough face time at the beginning or end to make me care about him. He was supposed to be distant in the beginning, but at the end there was such great dialogue when he tells Bella how miserable he was apart and that he only left for her own good. That kind of selflessness just melts my heart. I mean, yeah he said it in the movie, but not in the poetic dreamy Edward way. I’m basically going to have to reread New Moon now to feel complete. Moreover, I remember when reading the book, when the phone call came my heart was pounding with excitement that Edward was re-entering the story. Not so much in the movie…. I was underwhelmed. Maybe it just had to do with it feeling like he was gone longer in the book?
And why did they END the movie with Marry Me? I thought this was a movie, not an episode of Friends.
Also, heartbroken Bella was acted basically the same as the Bella Kristen Stewart always is, only with really hilarious squeals in bed.
The movie was well done though. They included stuff from the book I seriously didn’t think they would. There was a lot of gratuitous wolf-pack shirtlessness. Jacob was a sweetheart. The effects were rocking. I really dug the artsy Edward under the ocean thing even though it was hilarious at the same time. Jasper was the same constipated vampire I know and love. It was a good time.
What were your thoughts?
Yesterday marked day 2 in my cold turkey attempt to vanquish caffeine from my life. Every day, another thing that has become convention in America that also makes us fat has started to bother me. Caffeine is my current target. I never used to drink the stuff. Back in 7th grade, I was pretty overweight. Fortunately, I have a lot of will power when I want to, and pretty readily lost a lot of weight over a Summer. Shame motivated me. I remember the pediatrician saying that I was fat and needed to lose weight. I knew I wasn’t thin, but hearing it come from a doctor just sparked a change in me. I’m sure doctors wished it was like that for everyone. All I really had to do was stop eating the large portions the rest of my family was, do some tae-bo every day(yes, that shit works), and eliminate soda completely. I lived solely on water. And for 8 years I was happy with that.
Until last year when I started studying late at night. Everyone started drinking soda and coffee and I followed suit. Caffeine is a tricky beast for Karen. I am highly sensitive to it. That, and the fact that I didn’t drink the stuff for 8+ years meant that a single cup of coffee was like Karen on speed. Either that or happy pills. In fact, after Brian and I broke up last year I started drinking more coffee. It made me more excited about life. It made me not care about the things that were wrong. It made me a social butterfly who could talk your ear off. It made me get over my insecurities. It was basically awesome. Make that awesome SQUARED.
But on the flip side, it makes my brain work so fast sometimes that I can’t really focus on anything. Take last week for example when I was so strung out I couldn’t make 62 cents change to buy some peach rings. It also makes me quite obnoxious. Without it, I’m foggy and blah. I don’t want to be dependent on something like that.
So I tried to go cold turkey, I really did. But today, 48 hours later, I just couldn’t take it anymore. There was free coffee in the lobby and I took my girly frog mug and made a half decaf half caf concotion to at least cut back a bit. 15 minutes later I was having hot flashes, sipping coffee through the stirrer like a weirdo, and saying obnoxious things. It was seriously like drugs. And I basically embarassed myself in front of a semi cute boy by being a total nerd. Yeah, I like to think I’m a cute nerd, but you can’t show your nerdy side TOO early.
I’m pretty distraught over it. But, maybe it’ll give me added motivation these coming days. I think cold turkey is the key. JUST SAY NO JUST SAY NO!
It’s been a crazy ride since my last post and it won’t really calm down for a couple more days. Although, I feel pretty stressed and agitated, I guess I can rest assured knowing that time will keep marching on and eventually I’ll be on the other side of this – regardless of the outcome. It’s also comforting to know that I already have a magna cum laude engineering degree from an ivy league school – a pretty good fall out plan eh? Just keep Breathing, K.
Last weekend was pretty out of control – I went up to Philadelphia to see not only the sorority sisters that were still there, but also past favorites who graduated 1-2 years before me. And let us not forget my StimuLite colleagues! It was great seeing everyone, but I realized that I definitely can’t handle the college lifestyle anymore. Hard alcohol makes my stomach hurt. Eating out more than one time in a row makes my stomach hurt. Sharing bathrooms with more than one person is annoying. Dirty people are annoying. Sleeping on the floor isn’t as charming as it once was. And it’s hard to make everyone happy when so many friends are around and haven’t seen me in a long time. I forgot how hard it was balancing sorority and everyone else. I feel like I didn’t get the time with everyone that I wanted, which sucked ursa major.
While I was gone, I had romanticized Philadelphia in my head because I was having a hard time adjusting to my new town. But, while I was there I remembered some of the annoying things about Philly. In the end, I felt good going back. Yes, I miss everyone there like whoa. But, I realized that the life I’m creating down here is worth the angst I’m going through now. Reguardless, I will always enjoy visiting Philly – I will just bring more tums and lactaid next time. I will also do better scheduling time for everyone (I hope). Hindsight is 20/20.
After rolling back into Charlottesville, life just blew big time. I had a fellowship application due, tests, work, more tests, homework I can’t do, you know, the usual. My room became a vortex of clothes and dirty dishes. It was pretty disgusting stuff. I really need to figure a way to find balance in my life. I need to figure a way to include all my work, 8+ hours of sleep, healthy homemade meals, exercise, and a bit of fun in a 24 hour day. Right now I just keep choosing a couple things while sacrificing the others and making my body and mind pretty frazzled and spazzed. Wednesday I turned to caffeine for assistance with some pretty bad results. 2 coffees, Excedrin, and 2 sodas in a 1.5 hour timespan apparently makes me turn into a psycho. I couldn’t even count 62 cents of change in a One Stop! After my last test Tuesday, finding a way to achieve this balance is going to be my mission. I need happy and well Karen back….
I almost feel like I’m writing to you as a different person. Remember how last Sunday I said that my weekend included cooking up a storm? Well, cooking (and consuming!) a week’s worth of healthy tasty herb-y meals had a bigger effect on how I feel than I imagined it would. I feel centered. I have more energy. My eyes don’t look quite as droopy and tired. I look a bit thinner due to decreased bloat. I feel great knowing that this is just the beginning of my journey and that as I transform my routines to include more healthy habits this feeling will only improve.
For breakfast I had a walnut bread that included a bunch of healthy swaps like wheat flour and yogurt instead of oils. It was surprisingly delicious and moist and kept me full til lunch (which is kind of a feat in itself). For lunch I had turkey burgers with red onion, cumin, cilantro, avocado, and salsa on a whole wheat bun. Cumin smells a little sketch, but they tasted good. My dinners included chicken seasoned with sage, rosemary, and orange zest and omelets with ham, cheese, and avocado. For snack time I made these cute mini pizzas on whole wheat pita with pesto, ricotta, mozzarella, and garlic. I feel like I became so domestic! And I saved money not eating out.
The next step is going to be adding the exercise, which has already been tricky. For one, I’m freaking busy. Grad school is a major time suck. I know that’s a bull shit excuse and I’m just going to have to figure out a way to add it to my routine. Despite the belief of most Americans, Exercise is a necessity for well-being and should be a priority just like eating, drinking, sleeping, and brushing your teeth. For two, with my recent asthma I’ve been a little afraid to start exercising and have been making excuses for myself. I’m usually fine inside, so I should try to start small and at least begin a healthy routine. It’s never going to get any easier. That’s my new mantra.
I’ve decided to skip Halloween this year. Halloween usually ends up overrated – I feel like I’m supposed to be having a lot more fun than I ever do. The same thing can be said for New Years. The only thing that really makes it fun is dressing up and being silly with my friends. This year, I don’t really have that, and considering I’m probably going to have a totally OOC (that’s, “out of control”) weekend next weekend in Philadelphia, I don’t mind letting this October 31 whisper by. But, to not be a total spoil sport, I’ve decided to walk through memory lane and show you some of my costumes over the years. Let me know which one was the best in the comments. I’m kind of bummed because I was going to make a kickin Hannah Montana costume this year, but I guess there’s always next time.
Clay Aiken pre Make Over, this one's from High School some time.
Freshman Year - Scarecrow. That's me with my ex best friend. My guy friends said I looked way too scary and that this was a bad costume move.
Sophomore Year - Daphne from Scooby Doo - I'm with Angelina Jolie and one of her adopted children. This costume was fun except no one knew what I was and the wig was a children's size and way too small.
Junior Year - Lil Red Riding Hood - My friends were a bad influence on me and somehow convinced me to go all out sexy. It made me a stronger person I think.
Senior Year - Vampire. I let my friend tease my hair which was also probably a bad idea. Disregard my weird lips in this pic. I just finished feeding.