So dude….the holiday season is over and I really don’t feel like I got to enjoy it.
1. Finals ate up much of the early December time when I should have been sipping warm holiday beverages, trimming trees, and listening to carols in a frenzy of stress and angst.
2. A blizzard delayed my journey home, creating more stress and angst. My car is still in C-ville, hopefully no longer stuck….
3. My family is small and isolated – just me and my parents.
4. I’m older and single – Christmas has kind of lost its magic. At this age I feel like it’s hard to get into the spirit when you’re living your own single life.
5. Streptococci party of several billion in my throat on Christmas morning.
I honestly just feel like I missed out, and that this break wasn’t all I’d hoped it to be. Maybe I’m just too old for it all anyway. I hope not. I’ll just have to try again next year….
On Christmas Eve I tried watching Christmas movies and decorating a gingerbread house to gain some spirit and cheer, but even that fell kind of flat. I think the holidays are really about the people, and at this point of the life it’s not happening for me.
My Thanksgiving was a dinner with me and my parents – tricycle style. It’s kind of poopy in the sense that I feel like the point of Thanksgiving is reuniting with a large hodgepodge of relatives over elaborate spreads of food stuff. Ours was a simple dinner, turkey and a couple sides. Good stuff, but the excitement was lacking.
I find myself wondering how many turkeys die for Thanksgiving meals. I actually think turkeys are really cool animals. I can’t wait to quit eating much meat again once I leave home. I don’t know what’s changed recently, but I think about animals a lot more than I used to. And science isn’t a good profession for that….
I find that I don’t understand normal families. I don’t understand a family that spends time together outside of the day to day run-ins associated with living in the same household. When people cancel on me for family stuff, I try to understand, but I don’t actually understand. I spend most of my days here trying to find something to do that will bring me away from it. Maybe one day I’ll get it.
Reading is cool. Right now I am embarking on a book journey that I think will really make me think about my love life. The main character and I are both just hopeless. The first chapter or so mentioned that in this world there are two kinds of people – the dumper and the dumpee. Both me and the main character are dumpee, hopeless optimist, heart on our sleeve types. I can’t wait to see how he turns out and hopefully figure out some stuff in the process. The previous book I read by this author (john green, Looking for Alaska), really made me think about searching for meaning in death and moving on. This author writes really funny stuff that also takes the reader on a path to discover something about the world and themselves. It’s great stuff. I’m sure I’ll post more once I’ve read more than 20 pages. I’m just excited!
Friends are cool too. I love that I have friends I’ve known since elementary school. My homie A and I just celebrated our 11th friendship anniversary (yes, we are cool and keep track of such things)! That’s half of our lives. I love having people who have known me so long, seen me develop into the Karen I am today, and who I still rely on for guidance and fun (and lots of it!). I’m glad Christmas break is soon, because this was not enough time with them.